Sunday morning.Deep BLUE mood.’A walk to remember.’
What started out as a movie to watch cos one was feeling lonely turned out to be something more than just a time killer.
Movies will be movies but sometimes they tend to touch just the right chord.
More about faith than love ,the movie was a beautiful example of what a little belief in life and in people in general can do.
One has been having questions - lots of them.
Whatever happens …is it because one deserves it ? Can one handle things alone ?
Why is everything not a choice ?
A simple fight , a big dilemma - thousands of unanswered questions.
What is it that is needed ?
Courage,Confidence,Capability ?
At the end of it ,maybe,just maybe, it boils down to having Faith.
Anger,confusion,despair,injustice – maybe all one’s got to do is believe.
Have faith in the conviction that good begets good.That you can imagine and hope and dream and that very soon you’ll get it all.
Maybe today,maybe tomorrow ,maybe after you’ve learnt your lesson.
Maybe when you are really ready for it.
Sunday evening.Light blue mood.Faith ?A little less shaky.
Monday, September 8, 2008
An August realization.
There at the helm of the house boat, effectively cutting out the rest of the world - with only me, the ripples on the water, the sky and the steady lull of the boat- I was completely at peace.
At peace with me, at peace with my inner demons and at peace with the various complexities life continues to dole out.
It was the most comforting sight, the life in the water co-existing with the tranquil expanses of the skies above.
Energy and serenity together at once, exactly like the state of mind one was in.
So many thoughts in the head, the rights ,the wrongs .
The black ,the white and especially those greys- the ones maxing out my emotional strength.
I had a boatful of friends to give me company, yet over the din, I could distinctly hear the heart, a steady beat, helping me reaffirm what I had just realized
- Tranquility can only be appreciated by its absence.
There I was, looking till where my sight went,
looking where the sea and the sky met and the only thing I could think was
‘Only my Creator can judge me ’.
At peace with me, at peace with my inner demons and at peace with the various complexities life continues to dole out.
It was the most comforting sight, the life in the water co-existing with the tranquil expanses of the skies above.
Energy and serenity together at once, exactly like the state of mind one was in.
So many thoughts in the head, the rights ,the wrongs .
The black ,the white and especially those greys- the ones maxing out my emotional strength.
I had a boatful of friends to give me company, yet over the din, I could distinctly hear the heart, a steady beat, helping me reaffirm what I had just realized
- Tranquility can only be appreciated by its absence.
There I was, looking till where my sight went,
looking where the sea and the sky met and the only thing I could think was
‘Only my Creator can judge me ’.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
जाने क्यों...
अक्सर ऐसा लगता है ,
कुछ बदल सा गया है/
जैसा वोह पहले था,
वैसा रह ना गया है/
उस मुस्कान में कोई तो कमी है,
उस नज़र में कुछ तो अलग है,
कुछ कदम आगे बढ़कर जैसे
ठिठक सा गया है/
बीते हुए कल कल का दर्द है उसे?
या आने वाले कल का डर ?
जाने किस कशमकश में,
वोह इस pal को खो रहा है/
कुछ बदल सा गया है/
जैसा वोह पहले था,
वैसा रह ना गया है/
उस मुस्कान में कोई तो कमी है,
उस नज़र में कुछ तो अलग है,
कुछ कदम आगे बढ़कर जैसे
ठिठक सा गया है/
बीते हुए कल कल का दर्द है उसे?
या आने वाले कल का डर ?
जाने किस कशमकश में,
वोह इस pal को खो रहा है/
Thursday, December 27, 2007
I hate goodbyes...
You would think that after nearly six years of living apart from the family would prepare you well enough not to get all teary eyed at farewells.
Yet somehow every single time it happens you can't help but feel a tinge of gloom settling in.
Irrespective of how independent you think you are, you can't help but notice
-At the end of it, it's just you who is going to take that long lonely walk back home.
Yet somehow every single time it happens you can't help but feel a tinge of gloom settling in.
Irrespective of how independent you think you are, you can't help but notice
-At the end of it, it's just you who is going to take that long lonely walk back home.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Midnight merengue
Under the stars,
just enough moonlight.
He holds her close,
the touch just right.
One foot moves,
the other follows.
Both arm sway,
the evening mellows .
A turn ,a twist,
a nimble fall.
A look into the eye,
to win it all.
Not merely a dance,
a celebration of sorts.
To get each other,
against all odds.
A promise was made
to be kept each day.
To dance forever,
their Midnight Merengue.
just enough moonlight.
He holds her close,
the touch just right.
One foot moves,
the other follows.
Both arm sway,
the evening mellows .
A turn ,a twist,
a nimble fall.
A look into the eye,
to win it all.
Not merely a dance,
a celebration of sorts.
To get each other,
against all odds.
A promise was made
to be kept each day.
To dance forever,
their Midnight Merengue.
Monday, October 8, 2007
The breakup.
3 years, 7 months and 12 days.
A fairly longish time for a relationship and he still couldn't believe they had finally broken up.
He remembered the first time he had met her ... the boys had insisted on taking a coffee break and he had to give in. They had been working non stop for 28 hours already and it still didn't look as if they'd get any respite. A hot coffee definitely sounded like a good idea and they trotted out to the nearby coffee place. He had just finished ordering his coffee when he saw her. No one could have missed her and neither did he. She seemed to know all his teammates and was greeting them one by one. He remembered gawking at her so obviously that Amit had to introduce her to him.
Don't they say 'A lot can happen over coffee ',well here was the perfect example !!!
That was the beginning .One coffee led to the other and before they knew they were inseparable.
Now after three years ,he couldn't believe that he had taken the final step .
Doubts and indecision had been the norm for the last few months.
Hadn't she been his constant companion through the ups and downs for the last three years?Whenever he was lonely ,he would seek her out.
Whenever he was happy ,she was around to celebrate.
Whenever he was in the dumps, she almost blew his worries away.
And the best part - She never demanded anything. !!!
Seemed like the perfect relationship a guy could hope for.
So the question was ...would he be able to do without her ??
He had thought about it for a long long time.
It had started with his mother not approving of the relationship. She had shouted at him, pleaded with him and even cried to make him stay away from her. He had endured all that.
But then he heard the news about Arjun. Apparently she had an affair with him, but all that was in the past.Wasn't he the uber cool guy who didn't bother about such trivialities !
He hadn't even cared about that phase in her life unless he came to know much Arjun was suffering .
That had got the thought process started.It was all hunky dory between them and he so much wanted to believe that she would never make him suffer that much.
But there something special about the seed of doubt...it grows way too fast.
What if he met Arjun's fate ?
Ma had never liked her anyway.How long would he continue hurting her ??
A number of mental skirmishes later,he had made a decision.
Yes...she would have to go from his life.
He knew it wouldn't be easy but he was ready to let go.
Now that he thought, he was never in love with her. It was ...it was more of a dependency than a liking.
It took a lot of effort but he told her he wanted out.
Surprisingly he wasn't feeling sad,quite content actually for being able to take the correct decision.
He said his goodbye ,wished her luck and left her at the same coffee shop.
As for her,well...she's still smouldering in the ashtray.
A fairly longish time for a relationship and he still couldn't believe they had finally broken up.
He remembered the first time he had met her ... the boys had insisted on taking a coffee break and he had to give in. They had been working non stop for 28 hours already and it still didn't look as if they'd get any respite. A hot coffee definitely sounded like a good idea and they trotted out to the nearby coffee place. He had just finished ordering his coffee when he saw her. No one could have missed her and neither did he. She seemed to know all his teammates and was greeting them one by one. He remembered gawking at her so obviously that Amit had to introduce her to him.
Don't they say 'A lot can happen over coffee ',well here was the perfect example !!!
That was the beginning .One coffee led to the other and before they knew they were inseparable.
Now after three years ,he couldn't believe that he had taken the final step .
Doubts and indecision had been the norm for the last few months.
Hadn't she been his constant companion through the ups and downs for the last three years?Whenever he was lonely ,he would seek her out.
Whenever he was happy ,she was around to celebrate.
Whenever he was in the dumps, she almost blew his worries away.
And the best part - She never demanded anything. !!!
Seemed like the perfect relationship a guy could hope for.
So the question was ...would he be able to do without her ??
He had thought about it for a long long time.
It had started with his mother not approving of the relationship. She had shouted at him, pleaded with him and even cried to make him stay away from her. He had endured all that.
But then he heard the news about Arjun. Apparently she had an affair with him, but all that was in the past.Wasn't he the uber cool guy who didn't bother about such trivialities !
He hadn't even cared about that phase in her life unless he came to know much Arjun was suffering .
That had got the thought process started.It was all hunky dory between them and he so much wanted to believe that she would never make him suffer that much.
But there something special about the seed of doubt...it grows way too fast.
What if he met Arjun's fate ?
Ma had never liked her anyway.How long would he continue hurting her ??
A number of mental skirmishes later,he had made a decision.
Yes...she would have to go from his life.
He knew it wouldn't be easy but he was ready to let go.
Now that he thought, he was never in love with her. It was ...it was more of a dependency than a liking.
It took a lot of effort but he told her he wanted out.
Surprisingly he wasn't feeling sad,quite content actually for being able to take the correct decision.
He said his goodbye ,wished her luck and left her at the same coffee shop.
As for her,well...she's still smouldering in the ashtray.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Together...
Tell me your dreams
I want to live them too.
Together I know
we can make them true.
Tell me your fears
I'm here to hold you,
Together I know,
we can see them through.
Tell me your joys,
I love to laugh with you.
Together I know,
we can find bliss anew .
I want to live them too.
Together I know
we can make them true.
Tell me your fears
I'm here to hold you,
Together I know,
we can see them through.
Tell me your joys,
I love to laugh with you.
Together I know,
we can find bliss anew .
Give me your hand,
lets walk awhile,
I need you with me,
You are my reason to smile.
lets walk awhile,
I need you with me,
You are my reason to smile.
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