Blah!

Arrgh! Sometimes nothing seems to be going in the right direction,absolutely nothing! All you want to do is to run away and find someone to hear you out.Your only trouble-you can't speak out loud.Ofcourse you know that if you did maybe some of things will get sorted out,but if you are stubborn...no one can help you.

More than that you realize that life will be much simpler if you just stopped feeling things,stopped being passionate and be as mechanical as the people around you.You want to shout rather than dabbing at the tears that you seem to be producing at an unimaginable rate,without rhyme or reason!Oh no ,the reasons are there but unless you stop being so goddamn touchy feely,nothing good's ever going to come out of it!

So what do you do ? You think,think,think and then thank God that at least you can feel,you can appreciate the subtle and most importantly feel grateful for the passion you have been given.You have but one life , one you don't know will end when, so live life as passionately as you do.

Ofcourse it will hurt,ofcourse you would cry but then you would also have Lived!

.

Eliminating expectations.Man must not know a thing more difficult to achieve! Yet somehow ,once achieved,it just makes him all the more powerful. The first time then,he and only he is responsible for his own happiness or the lack of it.

Impossible is nothing ? Or is it ?

Dance of the spirits...

As she cupped the hot thermos, she couldn't help but notice how cold her fingers were. The fleece lined gloves were of no use here - Svalbard, inside of the Arctic circle. He handed her the mug, the coffee they had brought was the only thing which could warm her...well almost only anyway.

This was their fourth night out in the middle of nowhere. Every polar night, they trudged out, with their guide in tow, to catch the one thing that had brought them out here. It was something they did on whim, each knowing that there wasn't any hope for them. But a handful of memories is all that is required to live.And they were collecting as many as could fit, in cold, stiff hands....

Conversations were easy, as they are when you know you have nothing more to loose. No expectations, no fear of the future, just one desperate clawing in the darkness to catch all that's worthwhile. Eyes to the infinity,they finished their coffees. The guide had been checking with the observatory for forecasts and they appeared to have chosen the wrong day yet again! Cursing under his breath,the guide started roping in the sled dogs in a distance.

She was tired, and so was he.

From the waiting. From the running. From the running away from each other.

Yet there was something so real,that could not be denied.

He lied down on his back, his thick blue parka shielding from the cold. She lied down next to him, always maintaining the gap they had both respected. Her fingers, still cold, felt as if they were on fire. Eyes on the sky, they both lay, hearing the silence they loved as much as each other. She rubbed her hands, then gave up.

The silence grew and then - nothing.

His hand had found hers, the gloves lay down on snow. Their fingers entwined...and suddenly the spirits started dancing. They had waited too long, just like she and him.

They watched, eyes never leaving the sky. The moment was theirs, the spirits had danced.

Bare hands had never felt so warm.

Beyond this, was nothing, just as before they had met.

But this was somehow enough, to spend a life. Away.

The frostbite, their trophy. The spirits, their witness.

Presenting Zefire - In and as the 'Cheshire Cat' :)

So what's it about dreams eh ? I had a nightmare which woke me up and here I am grinning like a cheshire cat and nowhere near stopping! :D yeah exactly like this :) I could go on about the grinning and how this morning's been the best in ages ,but that isn't why I am even writing....so what's the point ?

The point is...sometimes they make one realize things that one didn't quite believe in, oneself. Like a little nudge towards the right answers.And I have been happy because  I now know what I am capable of. So the important question here is,would I leave everything in an instant to be with some one ?

In spite of the fierce women lib.supporter in me , I now know that I can.

And suddenly, in the space of a night (and an almost nightmare) , I find that even I am capable of greater things :) Can I help but not grin :)

Zefire aka 'Optimistique' :)

Black...

She sees only black.

Yet she walks,

'cos she breathes.

They say she is strong,

she thinks,so wrong,

can't help but walk,

all 'cos she breathes.

She hears no love,

even when she begs.

Nothing works,

neither laughs nor tears.

But walk she will,

only 'cos she breathes,

And when she can't,

liberation at last!

Kaash...

Kaash ki lehron pe aashiyana bana sakth,ret ke mehlo pe sapne saja sakti,phir us neele baadal se kahani koi kehti,aur ret pe apni chaahat koi likhti...

Eyes wide close...

There is something there,
He knows he should see.
He thinks he must try,
For it might set him free.

He tried to find courage.
He tried to be brave.
He tried to seek the freedom,
He so badly craved.

But he was weak,
or so he thought.
Alas ! Life's struggle,
He gave up and lost.

Its a choice he lived.
A choice he chose.
To keep his eyes shut,
Or rather- eyes wide close.


(Sometimes I see people and think why did they give up ,why did they stop trying, why did they think they were not worthy enough for the fight!!
Always makes me wonder ... )